About Me—Joscelyn Kate

I’m socially awkward—working on it—but I would say being closed off is one of the biggest misconceptions about me.

I don’t try to keep things private, and I’m always happy to share experiences and opinions, or ideas. I worry though, that I’m boring as hell so I probably tell fewer personal stories than others. Let’s hope for your sake, I’m not…

Who is Joscelyn Kate?

For me, knowing who I am is about knowing how other people experience me. I like to get feedback about what vibes people get from me when we communicate, how they feel around me, or when they see me coming. Who I am is a team effort, in need of myself, and a reflective body.

I’m always searching to fill that reflective body—my community—with the right people who I respect, trust, like, admire and love.

However, if there were a list of specific things that are consistently reflected back to me from my community, I’d say it’s the following:

I’m an eternal, unrealistic, unyielding optimist.

Forever in pursuit of a happy ending, I avoid sadness and tragedies like my life depends on it. I don’t understand the appeal of tragic stories, movies, or books. We have so much real sadness in the world, why make entertainment out of it? I like happy endings and helpful life advice.

I like to find the bright side and the silver lining. I don’t sit with my unhappiness for long. I analyze, plan, and act so I can get to my next point of happiness as quickly as possible.

I have really deep feelings.

Like really, really deep. People confuse this for being high-maintenance or snobby and I’ve always felt misunderstood in that sense. For example, I don’t like how Mcdonald's, and most other places now, changed their fountain-drink straws to wide-mouth straws. So I keep my own straws in my glove box. Little things—like having the straw that feels right rather than forcing yourself to adapt to a not-so-great-straw—make life good.

Tiny, happy moments make life good.

I don’t respond well to expectations.

Honestly, I couldn't say how or why this part of me developed. I have always struggled with school, schedules, and working a job. I don’t like waking to an alarm clock, I don’t like doing work I don’t want to do, I don’t like bosses.

All of this leads me to self-employment via online writing. I like to set my own pace and I especially value the freedom in being able to make choices about my time.

I’m a good listener.

It’s sometimes hard to outrightly say the things I like about myself or am proud of, but I feel strongly that this one is true. I listen to people. I believe communication is a team effort. Communicating can sometimes feel like the person we’re interacting with is waiting for divine intervention to strike a chord of understanding while they listen.

I want to actively participate in uncovering exactly what someone is trying to tell me. I don’t just listen, I try hard to really hear people.

I’m happy.

There aren’t enough happy people talking about their happiness. With so many problems in the world, tragedies happening daily, and millions upon millions of things to worry about, people feel shame in happiness. I wish we’d talk about that more.

I love my husband, we’re far from perfect but we try hard to love each other and be healthy partners. My kids are wonderful. I love the work I do and while I don’t have everything, things are comfortable right now and I’m so happy. But that’s not a temporary state. I’ve been happy for the better part of the last 15 years, it’s amazing. I think it’s the optimism thing.

I write about self-worth & boundaries.

I’ve loved a lot of people who struggled with self-worth and boundaries. Seeing how it’s impacted their lives—and desperately wanting to help—I started writing out my advice.

Because I pride myself on being a good listener, I try not to offer advice that isn't sought out, but I still need to get it out. Hearing a problem I think I could solve and not offering a solution gives me uneasy feelings, writing out my advice in hopes of helping someone, gives me a sense of calm.

Writing is my favorite thing to do.

Thank you for getting to know a few things about me. I look forward to getting to know you, dear reader friend, and myself a bit more as I continue to grow in the writing community.

I like to think I’m an open person, but I’m fairly deliberate in my communication so I can come across as closed off or reserved. I try to communicate efficiently but I think people sometimes see that as practiced.



Find me on Twitter or join my newsletter on Substack to hear the advice I [wish I could] give on self-worth and boundaries.