Self-talk is the foundation of how you react to everyone. The way you talk to yourself underlines what you believe are the motivations of other people.
We learn self-talk from our parents and caretakers. As children grow, the way they’re spoken to becomes their inner voice. We don’t realize this as we’re young and impressionable, but we internalize the way others speak to us and believe it to reflect the way we deserve to be spoken to and treated.
Being kind and compassionate with yourself first allows you to determine whether you’ll accept another person’s treatment of you. Absent compassion and kindness, you can find yourself being defensive with other people.
When Self-Talk Lacks Compassion
Your self-talk may lack compassion if you were emotionally neglected, abused, have childhood trauma, or have been in a relationship with a narcissist.
These are all contributing factors to how we internalize our worth and engage in perfectionism or mistake-avoiding behaviors.
