I see you. And I know why you’re exhausted, angry, and disoriented. It’s not your fault.
You deserve to be understood and your perspective is valid, I’m sorry they’re not trying. Please remember that trying is all it takes. You’re not complicated, complex, too much, you’re not at fault for your parent being overwhelmed, angry, dysregulated, or unavailable.
All we have to do is try to understand someone to make them feel safe. We don’t even have to fully get there. When two people don’t speak the same language, as long as they’re making eye contact and seeking other clues, and points of connection, each person will feel safe to continue.
It hurts when people claim to be trying and they’re not. We have to put our brain into a certain main in order to understand, it has to be open and purposely seeking.
If you want to learn how to play tennis, you don’t run out into the middle of the street yelling, “I don’t know how to play tennis! I guess it’s too complicated!” You seek out an instructor or a class and you ask for help, and you open your mind to receive information it did not previously have so that the information you have about tennis can be restructured.
And if you go into that tennis lesson arguing with the instructor, you’re not going to learn how to play tennis…
